Friday, 19 January 2018


I'd been attending church for a year and a half now, and although some sermons demonised gay people, I thought after talking with the senior pastor and his wife, that it would stop.

Sadly, it didn't. On Christmas, I heard a sermon that highlighted two gay dads that'd sexually abused their adopted son.

I cried the entire night after that.

I do realise that the point was that man is depraved and evil and perhaps that was just a convenient example. But how would the gay teenager sitting amongst us in that congregation feel?

So I just told myself I had to take 6 months off from church to reevaluate my membership.

I somehow, after a talk with my ministry leader and another guy and that guy's wife, managed to drag myself to church last Sunday.

But as I sat there, my heart was anxiously waiting for the next gay slur, and I was bracing myself for it.

I think I can't live a life like that every Sunday morning is a time to practice what's I've learnt in CBT to calm myself down. I think I'll probably develop an anxiety disorder in due time.

So I'll probably take some time off for now.

After all, I'm better alive than dead.

Where I belong

At my first church, I felt like I was part of a family. Until it wasn't. A guest pastor had come from New York and made a homophobic...