Book review: Sexual Authenticity by Melinda Selmys


I've been following Melinda Selmys on her blog for a while now and was very excited to receive 3 of her books I ordered recently.

I started on this one almost immediately.

For those who are unfamiliar with her, she is a blogger who blogs over at Catholic Authenticity, and previously at Sexual Authenticity which is where I started following her writing. I've been wanting to get her books but only got around doing so last month when she tweeted about it and I ordered it from Book Depository.

The book reads like a blog, and it almost seems like the manuscript didn't encounter the eyes of an editor, or if it did, edited the text only very lightly. I loved the irreverent style of writing that allowed me to "hear" her speaking to me almost.

I enjoyed reading the book from the very beginning, especially the chapter titled "Statistics", where she elaborated that scientific studies are inherently skewed and gay activists would use data to support their case as would Christian fundamentalists.

She also made me want to read the late pope's "Theology of the Body" because of how pertinent it seems to the conversation on homosexuality.

However, I disagreed with her on a particular point. Although it is her personal experience, she seems (at least to me) to want to extrapolate her experience with her then lesbian partner to all female same-sex relationships. Just because her sexual relationship was one that involved a lot of fantasy doesn't mean that everyone's experience is similar. Of course she didn't state this explicitly, its just the feel I get reading it.

Later on, as I continued reading, I got rather upset and depressed while reading the chapter titled "Family" and started crying as I continued reading. Perhaps it's because the truth hit me like a sucker-punch. Because if she is right and men and women are made for each other, then perhaps I ought to abandon the celibate Side B relationship that I am currently in.

Sigh.

Because if her argument is right, then a woman should not be in relationship with another of her kind because they reflect one another and will not be perplexed by one another's eccentricities like one would be of someone of a different sex.

Perhaps it's not God's best for me.

But more and more I feel that my relationship is indeed pleasing to God. So I just have to wrestle with this tension I guess.

Ah well. I guess I will just have to read a few more different books to regain my equilibrium before attempting her second one.

Till then, goodbye and take care.

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