Q&A: Growing up gay in a Christian household

Benjamin* is a gay Christian who agreed to be interviewed on the condition of anonymity. 


1. What was your introduction to Christianity like?

I come from a Christian household and grew up in Sunday school. In secondary school, I was exposed to philosophy and started reading up on other religions. This was an important point in my life. Some people might use the term “backsliding” to describe me at that point. But after some exploration, Christianity made the most sense to me. Faith to me isn’t just intellectual, it is an emotional experience as well.


2. At what age did you realise you were gay?

Naturally at around 10 - 13. There was no eureka moment, it was a gradual process.


3. How did you deal with it?

I was tormented by it. Being Christian. It was arduous. But I’m much more comfortable with myself right now and am still a Christian.


4. How did you decide to come out to your parents?

(As this was a rather sensitive question, Benjamin declined to answer this question.)


5. How do you integrate your sexuality with your faith?

The sexual act is the sin itself. It’s incompatible with what I believe in. Emotional and companionship is fine.

Something important I’d to point out is this: Although it’s not in the 10 Commandments, it’s still a sin. Just like gossip, hypocrisy and lying. Not having sex with another man is not more grave than lying.

Abortion and divorce are sins too although they are legal. There are therefore then loopholes in the argument against gay marriage. Christians cannot and should not prescribe our brand on faith onto secular society.


6. How was it like growing up gay in a Christian household?

I wouldn’t have it any other way. Getting to know God. I am thankful for upbringing because it led me to know God.


7. What would you say to encourage a closeted gay teenager living in a conservative Christian home?

Always come back to prayer. Only trust God’s voice because Christians are unnecessarily unable to discern the point where human agenda intrudes into human conviction.


*Not his real name

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