Jumbled thoughts from a mixed up mind

So this will be a mish-mash of thoughts about my current crush. You have been warned, it will be a topsy-turvy account of the stream of consciousness that’s plagued me lately.

My crush, my crush, my crush. Do you like me? Your dazzling smile completely besotted me that afternoon when you chanced upon me quite by accident. I replay that image in my mind again and again, looping it indefinitely.

This sounds like an awful gushing of a 16-year-old. But I shall continue.

Could it be? That God you’ve given the clearance? Am I hearing right? Perhaps I am wrong. I need some confirmation. But it doesn’t seem the wisest thing to put out a fleece, or even two. Could it be that You are with me? After all, You’re for us and not against us?

Is she the one? Perhaps she is intersex and just presenting as female? Or perhaps it’s my overactive imagination at work as I’m reading Megan DeFranza’s latest (Sex Difference in Christian Theology - Male, Female, and Intersex and the Image of God). If she’s intersex, would that make the problem somewhat simpler? But they’re so rare, 1 in 1,000 births do they occur. How can it possibly be?

Or perhaps she is truly female. It is unfair to her that I demand celibacy for myself then isn’t it? Most people in a relationship crave for physical affection don't they? Perhaps she is asexual? Haha, that would solve a lot of problems.

Darn, maybe she’s already got a partner. What is all this wishful thinking for then?

I am content to be her friend really. She seems like a rather nice person to befriend.

Lord, not my will, but Yours be done.

The end.


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