Sunday, 7 June 2015

Queer Theology

Okay, this may sound heretical to some, but these are just some random, scattered reflections and thoughts I've had as a gay Christian.

Note: This is post is does not feature exegesis of any biblical text nor hermeneutics of any sort, so if you're looking for those, you can stop right here.


[1] During cell group

As my cell leader talked about not putting God in a box, I thought about myself. Could it be that God wanted to accept myself for who I was and how I was created, even if that meant embracing the gay?

Am I putting God in the box by suppressing that side of me?

I don't know.


[2] At a service

We sang a song with lyrics that went,

"For we have been redeemed,
And we have been set free."

I have been set free. So why do I feel so tied up on the inside? Why am I not celebrating the freedom God has given to me? Why am I hiding and not coming out since that I've been set free and am free indeed?

I wonder.


[3] As I listen to the song "Nothing is Impossible"

Could it be that nothing is truly impossible with God? Could I enter into a same-sex, celibate relationship and see that bearing fruit and be blessed by God?

I'm not sure.


[4] After I came out to a pastor

He advised me to meditate on Matthew 7:7-12 which goes:

Keep Asking, Seeking, Knocking“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. Or what man is there among you who, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? 10 Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent? 11 If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him! 12 Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.

And I did. I looked it up and meditated on it. Looking back I don't remember if it was for the reason he probably quoted the verse for - to remove this thorn in my flesh with the name of "Same-Sex Attraction". I think I might have asked, sought, and knocked on God's door for a girlfriend instead. That might have horrified the pastor but it seemed so natural to me. Then again, that might have been what I wanted to do instead of actually did. My memory fails me. This was more than a year ago.

Where I belong

At my first church, I felt like I was part of a family. Until it wasn't. A guest pastor had come from New York and made a homophobic...