Yesterday, as I was reading Vines' "God and the Gay Christian" for a second time, I decided to check out Stephen Long's blog at Sacred Tension.
It convinced me that celibacy is not for all. Yes, to some, God might have called them to it, but for others, it can be a terrible burden to bear. It was for Stephen.
When Side B (the side that believes that gay sex is sinful) became too much for him to bear, he developed a cutting habit and was on the verge of suicide. That is just heartbreaking.
Like him, I've heard the story of Rob and Linda Roberston and the tragic story of how her son Ryan came out to her and later died due to an overdose of drugs. They were present at the Exodus conference 2 years back and after sharing their story, there was nary a dry eye in the room. They shared that it was how they insisted on his obedience to Christ on the issue of his gayness that led to his death. It was what caused him to hate himself.
Just like Stephen.
Being faithful to Christ meant that he had a difficult time reconciling his head to his heart. If gay sex is a sin, then wouldn't just the thought of it, the temptation be viewed as sinful as well? After all, Jesus said to look at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery in his heart. If it's the heart that matters, then the orientation itself was an abomination. (Now that's not what I believe, and there's a lot to unpack, but let's just leave it at that for the moment.) He couldn't reconcile
My conclusion is that some mandatory celibacy is not for all gay Christians. And it would be better to have a gay Christian who is alive and in a same-sex relationship than one who is dead because of suicide.
It's on the same note that I would advocate gay marriage if Singapore were ever to vote on this issue. God did say it is not good for man to be alone. If we advocate mixed-orientation marriage to discover that the husband or wife cannot even bear to touch/kiss/hug the other, how would that build a faithful marriage? So it only makes sense that if man is not to be alone, that a loved one be beside him, regardless of gender.
Even though Stephen seems to have taken a break from blogging like he has done so in the past, the blog is filled with beautiful writing that kept me up till 3am last night reading it. You can do nothing better than to have a look at his blog to have an insight into the struggles of living a celibate gay Christian life and why one would abandon it not because of pleasure, but for the sake of his sanity and his life. A brilliant work.
Thank you for sharing your story Stephen.
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