Saturday, 28 February 2015

Being on time

Today marks the first time in many weeks that I reached church on time and spent the entire time in service. I've been having great difficulty waking up in the morning since the start of the year and usually reached after everyone had finished singing. It's terrible. (No one really noticed. I guess there are advantages to being in a megachurch.)

I eventually figured it had to do with the time I woke up. So when I got up naturally at 6.46am today, I figured I shouldn't go back to sleep like I usually do. I guess praying the night before helped. I prayed that I'd be able to get to church on time. I reckon God answers prayers. 

Felt great to attend a complete service. I hope I can keep this up. 

In other news, I'm dealing with lingering feelings from the crush that has largely ceased to be. When the tide goes down, it leaves behind a stain on the seashore that doesn't go away immediately. I suppose it's kinda like that. 


It's been about a week since I caught the movie Kingsman and I remember it mainly as a very violent show. 

Now don't get me wrong. I do find it a rather clever movie and Colin Firth was brilliant. But the scene near the end where there was a massacre in the church... That was quite horrific to me. 

It was not so much the gore but the fact that everyone was so brutally mutilating one another. I realized then why it was so wrong. It was kinda like I had a mini revelation in the theatre. 

Here's what I discovered: When you stab a knife into someone, you're stabbing a knife into a person created in the image of God. In the image of God. 

I guess that's why it was so easy to kill Jesus. They were so used to murdering people they couldn't see His divinity. Or anyone else's for that matter. 

What we need to understand is this: When a person is killed, a masterpiece is destroyed. 

Saturday, 21 February 2015

Who's attractive to me?

Recently I was thinking of my one time crush and wondering what it would be like to kiss her. It was futile though, she'd never expressed any interest in me, that god fearing person that she was, and still is. So I submitted my thoughts to God yet again.

Then on Saturday I found myself on Instagram, checking out a White Party ad that two queens organized this 2015. A bit of research told me this was not my thing. Even though I could potentially meet many new people, loud music and dancing just isn't my cup of tea. And I'm allergic to alcohol to boot. 

I once thought that someone I'd like to hang out and possibly start a relationship with would be a devout Christian committed to living out the will of God in her life. 

Sigh. My one time crush, mentioned earlier, falls into that category. But she's out of the question now. 

In any case, speaking as someone who is slightly bi, I sometimes wonder if I would perhaps one day get married to a man who is a devoted follower of Christ. And I continue to wonder. 

As you can see, it is really attractive that my potential partner is really close to God. Because that's what's important to me. And God is someone whom I'd like to talk about with my closest human friend. That probably makes things complicated if I like someone of the same sex. I know. That's perhaps why they say life's complicated I guess. 

Saturday, 14 February 2015

Valentine's Day

What's wrong with being single at 28?

"Unless marriage is something you long for, I suppose there's nothing wrong with that," I hear you say. 

I bring this up because a married couple came up this Valentine's weekend to share their testimony on how they met in church. And the guy was lamenting how he was still single and unmarried at 28. The testimony was probably aimed at singles out there to encourage them to step out of their comfort zones when seeking a mate. They have good intentions yes, but it mildly disturbed me.

Is marriage the ultimate aim of every Christian? Does it equate to greater holiness? I don't know the answer to that. 

I just bought Eve Tushnet's "Gay and Catholic" because I've heard so many good things about it and in it, she talks about living out a gay and chaste vocation that need not necessarily be lonely. And if I don't get married to a guy (says this girl who's gay with bisexual tendencies) I would seek to live a life like Eve's. But I shall refrain from further comment until I've finished reading it. 

Meanwhile, back to my book...

Saturday, 7 February 2015

Thought provoking links

This week on social media, I've chanced across two really interesting blog posts that really made me think.

The first is on why children might not necessarily be in the most ideal environment when raised by gay couples. Now it's probably different from what you're thinking of - if you are a conservative. This is written by someone who's brought up by two moms and who still maintains a loving relationship with them.

Check them out, they don't take too long to read. 

Reflections on my friend's suicide (8 months on)

Photo by  Kat J  on  Unsplash In 2 days' time, it'll be 8 months since the day she passed. And tonight, instead of falling aslee...